April 21st 2010

Dear HollyAngel,
Sorry I haven’t written in a couple of weeks. It is much harder to do so than I had imagined. I can’t think about you without breaking down…even now. I miss you and your siblings so very much! Your mom still hasn’t written to tell me why she made this decision. I don’t get a response when I message her. She did, howeve,r request that I give her the letter from your biological father giving me permission to adopt you. I don’t know that I have it, but if I do, I will give it to you when you are old enough. I assume she wants it so she can begin the adoption process again. Scott will end up adopting you. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough when I was with your mom to make her complete the process for you and me. I was too focused on keeping the peace to see the end result. If I was stronger, we would still be a family. I talked to my counselor about what I can do to get your mom to not be so mad and to also get you back in my life. She (Dr. Sedano) believes that there is nothing I can do. She thinks that fighting with your mom will just cause more fighting with your mom and the only way to break that cycle is too let you go for now. From the start of all of this everyone has been telling me to “let Holly go”. They don’t see that you’re my little girl and I can’t just let you go. But still, I am at a loss for the next step. I just have to trust in Providence and the strength of my Love.
I will see your brother and sister this weekend (YEAH!) I miss you guys all of the time! I don’t think we’re going do much, though. I have to save money right now. I think I’ll try another church down here. I’ve found the one that Dr. Bob started at way back at the beginning of his career (I don’t know if you’ll remember Dr. Bob, but he is a great man). So we might check that out. And I think I’ll get your siblings to meditate a little as well. And then probably the usual park and such. Maybe we’ll go see your Tia Rae and Uncle Brue.
I’m fine otherwise. Have finals this week so I’m a little stressed but hopefully I’ll squeeze out a couple of “A”s and maintain my GPA. I know you would tell me you’re proud of me if you could. You always say those things to me. I’ll write after the weekend. I Love You, My HollyAngel. I will keep you in my heart every minute of every day and hopefully we will see each other soon. Be good.
Love,
Daddy