I wanted to tell you the story of "Us" ,as I see it anyway, so that you will always know why I Love you, how I Love you and all the reasons why you will always be my daughter.
Once upon a time, I met you at the daycare you and your step brother Connor attended. You were about 18 months old then, though I didn’t meet your mom until you were almost two. I had met you a few times when you and Connor were in the same class but you were just a cute little girl and I was just a random parent. All of the kids knew Connor’s Dad because I was silly and liked to play with you guys when I picked him up. Later, when I was introduced to you as someone who would be involved in your life, it wasn’t like you were meeting a total stranger.
In the process of my comings and goings to the daycare I was fortunate enough to meet your mom. We began dating and consequently she and I fell deeply in love. We were happy together and I became part of your life. From our first interaction I called you HollyAngel. The name struck me as I looked into your beautiful little face and it fit. Your mom and I dated and were married very quickly, I became your Daddy and we never, any of us, acted for a single moment like it was otherwise. In fact, I never referred to you as my step daughter… you are always my baby girl…always MY daughter. Even so, your mother and I decided that we should not ignore the fact that I was not your biological father, so we taught you early on that I was not there when you were born but had come later in your life. In addition, I almost always referred to you by the special name I had given you, though you were aware that it wasn’t your given name. I would tell you that I called you HollyAngel because you were an angel to me. I explained that angels helped people who were lost to find what they were looking for. Being an angel, you knew that I needed a daughter and you needed a Daddy so you helped us find each other. Every time I told you this little tale, you would get all shy and snuggle up to me. And when you got older, you always whispered, “I love you, Daddy” like it was our little secret.
We went through potty training and the birth of you little brother and sister together. I taught you how to dance, was your first Prince Charming and your first horse. We made Daddy Pancakes together (I taught you the secret recipe), we played Hop on Pop and I must have read Fox in Socks 100 times. In the afternoons you would meditate with me while everyone else napped and we would sing for the snow to fall. I held my breath the day we took off your training wheels (you didn’t fall, not once!) and cried when you started school (nobody else knows that). I would tuck you and your siblings in every night and we would recite a prayer we had written...I can't recall it anymore, but we all knew it by heart and we would take turns reciting it. Then I would say "good night" to each of you individually. When I came to you, I would say, "Good night, My HollyAngel...do you know why you are my HollyAngel?"
You would giggle and say, "Why?”
I would say, “Well what do Angels do?
“They help people find things”
“That’s right!” I’d say, “and you’re my angel because you found me for you and you for me…so why did you find Us?”
“Because we needed each other”, was always your reply.
I have always been and will always be very proud to be your Daddy. I have immense pride in you and have always loved to watch you shine. You are my baby girl in every corner of my heart and it will always be so, no matter what happens from here on out. I love you dearly, HollyAngel. I only wish I could have had more opportunity to show you. Even though I miss you terribly now, I will always be thankful that you found me.
All my heart…
Love,
Daddy
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