May 17

Dear HollyAngel,

            I have missed you so much these last few weeks.  So many different things have happened and I’ve had to try to explain to several people what is happening with you and I.         I try to give some logical reason why your mom would not want me to see you so that everyone doesn’t think he is just cruel.  It is difficult for me to rehash it so much.  I feel like I spend all of my time defending your mom’s actions.  Anyway, my Nana passed away and that meant seeing my mom’s whole family and they all wondered where you and the kids were.  So that’s why I had to go over it repeatedly.

Enough of that!   I wonder how you are doing not being in gymnastics.  It was such a part of your life and I hope you have been able to fill the space.  I know you’re involved in the Girl Scouts but I don’t hear anything further.  Shaw and Daphne told me you had all performed in the school assembly.  They said you played the recorder.  That makes me so proud!  I remember you practicing and practicing with my tin whistle.  You had “Hot Cross Buns” down to a fine science!  I will be so happy if you make music a part of your life.  It is one of those things that will bring you joy as long as you live.   Not to mention that if you get good with it, you could get a scholarship!  I wonder what else is happening with you; who your friends are and what kind of things you like.  I wonder if you get all of the attention you should when you’re just Holly and not trying to be what everyone else wants you to be.  I just want my baby to be happy, I guess.  I wish sometimes that you’ll forget I was ever in your life so that you don’t have to feel sad that I can’t see you.  But then I think about all of the love I and my family have for you and I don’t ever want you to spend a single moment of your life thinking that you’re unloved and alone, so I want you to remember that I (we) are always here.  We all miss you and love you.  I spend a lot of time just holding you in my mind so you’ll somehow get that love.  I hope that you do.

So what do you think about your mom’s new job?  She’s gone more on the weekends now, huh?  I bet you have more responsibility now.  But that’s not a bad thing.  You will be better off when you get older if you have more responsibility now, trust me.  And I know you and your brother can work well together when you need to.  I just hope you are not expected to do too much.  A girl’s got to have time to play!  =)

So your siblings and I didn’t do anything to exciting last weekend and I had to buy a new car this week so we will not be doing too much for the next several years!  But such is life.  When they come down this weekend I’ll have to think of something cheap and fun.  I wish you would be there to help me.

I Love You, My HollyAngel, and I miss you very much.

Love,

Daddy